I was originally scheduled to be on a 2PM United P.S. flight from LAX to JFK last night. My upgrade was confirmed, and I was looking forward to peace & quiet, wifi, and a good meal. Instead, my plans changed. I had an awesome day of golf with my dad and brothers, but I had to take a redeye to New York.
If I need to work after a redeye, I refuse to fly into JFK. There isn’t a shower there, and I don’t feel like going to my meetings stinky with sleepy eyes. Alternatively, if I take a redeye to Newark, there are showers in the United Club there. The LAX-EWR flight was over $700. No thanks. LAX-LAS-EWR, alternatively, was only like $250 so I went with that option. My upgrade cleared at 96 hours out. I was in 1A, but 1A on this old Ex-Con 757 had cut-outs for legrom so the bulkhead wasn’t so bad.
In any case, I got on the plane with the intent of getting as much sleep as possible. I sat down in my chair, and I was surprised that there wasn’t a blanket there. When the flight attendent came around, I asked…
Me: “Excuse me. When you have a moment, could I get a blanket?”
Her: “Sir, there are no blankets on this plane.”
Me: “Oh… that’s a bummer… is that an error with stocking the plane or are there no more blankets in first class redeyes?”
Her: “No, sir. This is NOT an error, but we have no blankets.”
Me: “So… then you’re not giving blankets out anymore?”
Her: “Sir, we are still giving out blankets, but we do not have any tonight.”
Me: “Okay…”
At that point, I realized that I wasn’t going to get her to make a sensible statement. I think I got the answer I was looking for. United is still giving blankets on redeyes (in first class), but there were no blankets on my redeye, and apparently this flight attendant was going to be here primarily for our safety only.
Sigh… In the end, I was able to fall asleep, and while I didn’t quite sleep like a baby, I got the sleep I needed. I hate the way grumpy flight attendants use the word, “sir.” I think they actually mean something that rhymes with “grass pole.” I also think I would have slept MUCH better with a blanket, though :-). Just sayin’…
